“He’s Just Not That into You” – Reading the Signs of Your Sales Process

Posted By on Jun 4, 2014|0 comments


The title of this post is a take-off on the book and film, He’s Just Not That Into You. The storyline portrays the challenges of reading people and dives into the lives of couples all in different romantic phases, from the dating scene, to marriage proposals to marriage.

I am using this title because I have been analyzing my own sales process and expectations recently and realize they are not in line. I have not been attuned to the clues that are presented in He’s Just Not That Into You.

The author of the book, Greg Behrendt, states that:

“Every movie we see, every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending, we don’t learn how to read the signs like how to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment, you never gave up hope.”

This is the same thing that needs to happen in sales. Your job is to determine what it is that is driving the sales and what emotions are involved. In the book, Question Based Selling, author Thomas Freese indicates that people buy for two reasons: either they have a pain or fear (they are running from a German Shepherd) or they are running for the gold medal and are determined to have something.

Your goal is to understand which of these two possibilities is driving your client’s interest, what the emotions are and what the impact is if he or she does not do something.

Know the “Why” – Understanding Your Processes to Effectively Build Sales

Just this morning, I received an email from a financial advisor that I have become acquainted with over the last four years. We meet regularly and he asks me questions about his business. But recently he has had more specific questions about what we are doing. I met with him last week and prepared a scorecard for him. The scorecard listed his mission and what outcomes need to happen in order to reach his goals.

In his email, he indicated that he recognized the need but did not have the drive. He specifically said, “New processes will make everything flow better and I feel strongly that I need to get through one big change at a time.”

He went on to elaborate that he was about to bring on new performance reporting software and would be hiring a new operations person. Consequently, he wanted more time and focus for his company. But here is the thing, if he really wanted this, he would do it.

Greg Behrendt illuminates this point with another excerpt from his book:

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you and doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs.”

Okay, I am not suggesting that this financial advisor doesn’t respect his company or his clients. Actually, what I am saying is that I began the sales process without clearly understanding WHY and what the impact of the WHY really was. It was as if I have been going after clients that just aren’t that into me, or, rather who are afraid of the commitment. They are calling. They are just hesitant.

As you can imagine, without having all the answers needed, I did a poor job of managing the sales process.

Learn from my mistake and don’t do what I did. Instead, determine what is driving your client’s need, their emotion and what the cost will be if the problem isn’t fixed.

You sales funnel will grow and you will have a better outcome.

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